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Which ones of these are true?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Q - What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test? A - Drool.
Q - "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?" A - "Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."
· Heard backstage: "Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!"
Q - How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door? A - The knock always slows down.
Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A - "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A - Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A - Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A - Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
Q - How do you get 2 drummers to play in time? A - Shoot one.
Q - Why'd the chicken cross the road? A - To get away from the drum solo.
Q - What do you call someone who hangs around musicians? A - The Drummer.
Q - What do drummers use for birth control? A - Their personalities
Q - Why didn't the little drummer boy get into heaven? A - Because he woke the baby Jesus!
Q - What do you call a drummer with half a brain? A - Gifted.
Q - Why to bands need Roadies? A - To translate what the drummer says.
· Two drummers walk into a bar, which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it. (Bar, get it!, Not a Pub)
Q - What do you call a Drummer driving a Volkswagon? A - Farfromthinken
Q - What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer? A - You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!
Q - How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A - Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
Q - What's the best way to confuse a drummer? A - Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Q - What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? A - You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
Q - If a dollar bill was laying in the centre of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money? A - The drummer with bad time since the other three don't exist.
Q - What do you get if you cross a drummer with a gorilla? A - A really dumb gorilla!!!
Q - Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? A - Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
Q - How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A - Five: one to screw in the light bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!
Q - How can you make a drummer slow down? A - Put a sheet of music in front of him
Q - How can you make that drummer stop? A - Put notes on it!
Q - How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? A - The knocking speeds up.
Q - How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? A - He doesn't know when to come in.
Q - How is a drum solo like a sneeze? A - You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
Q - How can you tell when the stage riser is level? A - The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q - How can you tell when the stage riser is NOT level? A - The drool only comes out of one side of the drummer's mouth.
· A bloke walks into a shop and asks for a 50 watt Marshall amplifier and a Fender Stratocaster guitar. The shop assistant says "Excuse me sir, but you're a drummer aren't you?" The man says "How could you tell?" "Well this is a laundry mat" says the assistant.
Q - What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? A - "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."
Q - What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? A - Homeless.
Q - What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? A - About four bars by the end of the song.
· Johnny says to his mom: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up." Mom: "But Johnny, you can't do both."
Q - Did you hear about the drummer that could play a steady beat? A - Me neither.
Q - How can you tell if a drummer has been doing the crossword? A - All the squares have been coloured in.
Masa came over yesterday, and we put down foundations of 3 clips of music going on a demo DVD for DAG music, the company the Lord sometimes brings work opportunities by. We put together a minute of this "high powered" Electro stuff scored to a Football game promo video, made 40 seconds of this...well...It's pretty...spastic funk music and 30 seconds of a "dance" track with Cherio singing 3 sentences. These are supposed to sound like snippets of whole songs...but we are making only the snippet. We finished the bells and whistles today over skype. Now, for rest night. TTL! (here's a radio stream of the 1 minute piece, I just tossed up if you interested. Sorry- no download.)
For you readers in Japan...It looks like HCS won't be going to the game on the 3rd. We had a couple more people barf today- which will make it less then a week. Too bad, cause I was so ready to see some familiar faces.
More news- Dave and Shun just came back from Mastumoto with-this isn't a joke- three tons of Soba and Udon noodles. Perfect, cause you know, in "heaven's children", Dad goes back down to their old house on earth to salvage their stash of lit? now, we can do the same with our SOBA! the remaining earthlings will dig it. This is such a miracle, because the contact that was supplying all the Chiba homes with Udon stopped donating last week, due to whatever it was. Perfect timing Jesus, and Thanks Alps home!
System music? Seriously? Yeah it's like bad and everything, but WHY... Surprisingly, not many of us know our enemy too well. Not many of us know Who founded the Church of Satan, for example. Who wrote the Satanic Bible? There is such a thing? yes. Not many folks know this. I really would not recommend reading it- but there are a few AWESOME passages in it. (I mean like...awesome in a Christian way). Did you know A guy named Anton Lavey (founder of and former high priest of the Church of Satan) wrote the "satanic" 10 commandments? Now, Just like in our bible, there are the 10 commandments- yet Also a Commandment which supersedes the 10. The Truth is, Loving God and Others Is the whole of the law. Lavey wrote this: Do what though wilt, shall be the whole of the law. This is in THE BIBLE of Satan folks. It reads "I am the snake that giveth knowledge" etc etc. Now from the Mouth of Satan himself, the simple act of doing what YOU want, Is satan worship. "do it for yourself", "don't let others tell you you're wrong", "Do what is right for you" are all Lines that the Generation today have drilled and hammered into through the Media them scince birth. It's all about "Me." From the Horses mouth, Satan himself says: The worship of satan is nothing more then self-service. I'd go on and on, But this 30 minute documentary from a Christian producers explains it very well with the visuals. Here is Part 1. Watch part 2 and 3from there. Great eye opening piece you should see, if you have a half-hour. (PS- Probably not good visuals for Non-teens and younger)
PPS. If you didn't find the point of this post...the point is to make you want to see this 30 minute documentary. KNOW YOUR ENEMY!
Check it out: 6 high school kids from the same class being charged with child pornography. 3 high school girls, sent naked pics of themselves over phone to their 3 high school boyfriends.
Oh My God. At least the prosecutor admits the case is extreme and bizzare, but she says Child porn is the only charge they can come up with, and the kids need to be punished. Right? Yeah. OK. a couple 15 and 16 year old sending naked pics to EACH OTHER (not to me, or any other adult) are going to COURT? they say the case is because: Those pictures may eventually leak out to adults- after the teens break up and yadayada. So there is a child porn THREAT. Ok...makes sense...But legal action against the teens involved is pure insanity, considering the booming sex industry which is legal once the teens turn 18. Now how can anyone tell a teen that "sexting" (the term for sending hot pix over the phone) is legally wrong when the sexual climate of the western world and western media is what it is? half nekid people all over TV...Porn accessible by anyone, teen movies being FULL of sex...Great. Well, any of you dirty senior teens...BE SMART. Because it's ILLEGAL now to send Nekid Pics to other SR teens. Not that you would before- but now you know why. Poor kids, wait till ur 18, then maybe you can get paid for them, if you let everybody see. ps: I'm totally against pornography of any kind. My point here is "first things first" for the obviously very concerned government of the US. In other Breaking news.... Nao (of...Tomo...) sent me a happy 4 boxes of Instant soba. After giving a box to Naoto for his sweet 16th, (which is today) my rest day menu's are pretty decided for the next couple of months. God, Keep me alive, please.
Heh, after post the drum solo, I though, "why not post the whole thing?" this is a compilation of clips of some of our songs we sent around as a demo to places for Christmas 2008 booking. If you're a band guy, You might enjoy this. This video has 2 gigs in in, Summer festival 2008 and HCS C-mas concert 2007. So it's not the newest thing, but...Praise the lord. I don't have any other video on hand. Thankfully this blog is really teaching me good things about HTML and video encoding and stuff. Maybe if I get really genius with all this video recording stuff, I might even V-log one day. Band members in the video are: Florence Vox Shun Guitar Naoto Keys Taka Bass Shinji Acoustic Me-drums. (Video is a great example of bad editing, bad camera work, and bad encoding. Enjoy!)
On another note, we went out busking today. It was cold, And the good news is we matched our previous worst for CD sales on a busking day! 3! Yeah!!! It was one of those..."no body's here, lets play something retarded out of boredom" days. We jammed up "Marianne" and a couple other ones. I'm ready for sleep.
Jan 25 is the birthday of a real awesome somebody. Happy Birthday! I wish you only the best.
Hey, I realized a lot of folks have never seen me actually PLAY the drums. Not that it's anything spectacular, but I was distressed when someone from overseas told me "she didn't know I was a drummer" because I'm always singing in the "music video's"! Yikes. Drums is like the only instrument I can play, and actually feel like "Hey, I can play this, dude". I feel very inadequate on guitar, and trumpet.
This is a solo from our set at Summer Festival 2008. (Played with a single pedal) I have no like videos of any of our gigs, which is kinda sad. I usually try to solo sometime in the gig. Recently I've been playing Cajon instead...so I'm really missing doing this type of thing. I feel like the Bongo guy in "Flight of the Conchords" tryna' jam in up recently. I'm gonna try to film busking somehow, soon and post it here. We just added "psychic waste", and "Diana" to our busking list.
I'm actually a pretty hopeless geek if you didn't know that already. Was gonna answer a few tech questions about the Guru CD, but I thought I'd go further and just talk to the geeky ones about the insides of the CD. I said we were going for old-school bare bones. How bare? look at the screenshot of "mary's little lie". That's 11 tracks. Nothing is hidden there, thats really it. It's my lowest track count ever for a song with a real drum kit: I think Take the blame was 12, because Chorus and verse lead vocals had different tracks. As you can see on the LV track theres a Microphone modeler. I'm not modeling anything, I'm using the plugin for that nasty tube distortion feature it's got. 3 of the tracks on the CD have the same nasty distortion on vocals. It added to the old-skool sound we wanted. One reason why the CD mastering could be pushed so loud, was because EVERYTHING a lot of the time was so distorted at track level (on purpose) that you couldn't hear the distortion from the limiting as much as you would on something a little cleaner. Actually in the name of trying something new, 5 of 6 songs have a feed from the drum buss going into a distortion! After eq'ing the harshly distorted drums I sneeked them under the dry drums just a bit, and I liked it. It helped give the OH's a really controlled feeling without that "over-compression" sound. I think I'll be doing that again if I ever want a horrible raw sound without it actually being horrible and raw, ha. The guitars were recorded with a PODxt live with it's output very low, feeding into my Groove tubes brick at full gain for a tad of real tube harmonics in the guitars. Thats the way I've been doing guitars for a while now. I remember when Shun and I first ran the XT through the brick (we read Pro's liked to run the POD through Tubes to give it some balls) The difference COULD be felt. I didn't expect the character of the sound to change much at all vs going into the desk, but really, a real tube pre on a guitar modeler will work wonders. (I'm talking about real vacuum tubes, not an Art-tube or presonus tube-pre. Pretty much anything running from a wall wart isn't really a vacuum tube- but you already know that. Although...You'd still want to use any outboard preamp if you have one when recording an digital effector just for the cleaner output gain, but it won't add the tube harmonics) The amp model we chose was based off the Soldano 100 amp head. Uh...Bass Is Taka's Fender P-bass going direct into the Brick, then Plugin'd up in the box. The distortion on it is actually the old Amplitube1 "Fuzz" amp model.
To wrap it up, here, and here a couple reviews on Distortion religion from cyberspace. Thanks for the write up guys, It's only the Lord.
Alert: Tech content below: Feel free to skip past the picture of the kit on to the real post content if you are a civilian. Before we get started, feast your eyes on this, My kit- Yamaha Tour custom, which is Maple. God is amazing, thanks Jesus. This is the most recent setup (about 2 weeks ago) which Shiro recorded 6 songs with for Shun's up and coming screamo. Man Shiro can double kick! Everything you'll hear on their record is real playing, more then I can say for some of my "double kick". I tracked "The Red Pill" with this same setup after they were done. Kick mic is a Beta52 and overheads are Rode Nt-5s. Good sound as always, but the snare was a little too ringy for some reason. In the mix of Red Pill I used a gate with the floor open to where it would reduce volume in between hits about 6 db, just the make the sound a bit shorter without getting all the other problems that come from gating all the way. I also used a tight notch at almost exactly 500 htz to clean up the ring a little more. It's alright now.
Now that that's done, Below is an excerpt of a report John and I sent in about the services our HCS studios have done for The Family in 2008. This is my section sort of in "log" format as you can see, but it's totally not in order of date. So this is eeeeverything I did musically that benefited The Family (emphasis on "for The Family", I'll include the rest after this list), for donations and without, in 2008. I surprised myself in the end, It looks like quite a bit, to me at least. (I'm sorry for the word "Steve" being repeated so many times...it starts to bother the eyes, but changing them all to "I" for this post will sound just as retarted)
Steve mixed 12 songs for Jaz and Chris’s band “Naked” in the first half of the 2008.
Steve mixed and mastered the song “1000 dreams” by “Caney Creek Heroes”, a band from the same Houston home as “Naked”.
Steve mixed 3 songs for Ezra and Phillip in August 2008.
Steve wrote and produced 6 songs for “Distortion Religion” a mini album by “Guru” (His new Grunge band) intended for Family members: Began November 2008 and finished early January.
Other NON-WSA singles Steve produced in 2008 are “Shake a leg Remix”, “Kibou” (for the Field of Japan),
Steve co-wrote and co-produced 11 songs with Masa and Florence- then mixed and mastered the songs in all in January 2008, the “Strawberry Jam” “4 Days At sea” album.
Late 2008 Steve mixed and mastered 4 songs for our in-house Shun Guitarist. Early January 2009 Shiro drummer came recorded drums for 6 of Shun’s songs, Going on Shun’s “not to distant future” screamo Album.
Steve helped record 2 simple demos for Marie and 4 for Florence, to send in.
Steve produced “6th Gear” for TCD in January 2008.
Steve produced “Redemption” by Chris Knoke for TCD in July 2008.
Steve mastered TCD 38: Warriors Cry.
Steve rough-mastered 45 key, DMC, and TCD singles that went to the MO site throughout 2008.
Steve mastered Christy Gibson’s Gospel CD for Local use in Thailand.
Steve mastered a 6 track mini-CD for Bayside home’s local witnessing.
Steve mastered an 11-track CD for Emanuel in Brazil and his band’s local use.
Steve helped Joe in Mexico with mastering of a Death Metal CD by Joe and some former members.
Steve mastered the “Naked” album of 12 songs.
Steve recorded and arranged an audio message from the Japan RC for the field of Japan in late 2008
Steve arranged the “TempleTime” Kids audio for Feast 2009.
Steve recorded Florence singing vocals 3 times for 3 songs Michael Piano is doing.
Steve recorded Tomo and Nao’s vocals here in his studio for 2 weeks, earlier in 2008. Their CD should be done soon; it’s being engineered by Rick Blackrock and paid for by Japan’s JTB.
Yay! How about that. Now I'll just add on a bit more for this blog's sake. Other "non-Family benefitting" work or "secular work" for funds I did in 2008 was:
Produce with masa 3 songs song that he wrote for Konami Games. (at Bayside studio)
Produce 5 two-minute loops of music with masa for Konami Games.
Record....around 6? demos for Kyla (an awesome girl) and a local Friend's rap group.
That's audio 2008 for me! Lets see what 2009 holds eh?
Great Video of a smart economist explaining his new book. He's got a couple new things to say. Too bad, he's only 40 years behind Dad.
Obama certain seems to be helping the NWO right along. PTL! Check this. (below) Henry Kissinger (major player in Builderberg and top dog for 40 years in the US council on foreign relations among other "very Illuminati" type stuff) stating from about 2:45 that Obama is the guy to bring in the NWO.
It's on the move people! Notice how this guy says what an "opportunity" Obama has to bring in the NWO: Well, It's our big opportunity as well to spread the gospel when people are hungry! Dad's letters have power like never before. These are just 2 video's, but this kind of material is EVERYWHERE. Funny how the whole world seems to be pinning hopes on Obama as the only guy who can "save us", when the country he's heading is in the deepest. If you haven't already, hit my Obama post below.
I thought these were great. Masa and I have no ideal who this is, he is most likely a gamer playing PES 2009 and thought he would cover the songs. These are 2 of 4 songs Konami bought from Masa and I for the PES 2009 PS2 game. He might not be the best player...but he sure seems to be enjoying playing.
This is an end-time "Thesis" I wrote today. It's going to be long, but try and hit the links throughout.
Could he be....The one? YOU know what I mean. I'm keeping my eyes and ears out for this guy. He fits the profile. Comes out of nowhere (who heard of him 1 1/2 year ago?) Definitely fits the "taking the kingdom by flatteries" and "Mouth speaking great things" part: He is a great speaker. Why do I see words like "Messiah" and "Saviour" thrown around? People worship him all over the world and faint during his "revivals". Not Christian, not Muslim: Not black or white: Not totally American nor anything else: Young: Everyone can love him because he appeals to everyone. His parents are both long deceased, and he has no brothers or sisters. Gay? Maybe. This story isn't the only one circulation if you've been doing your research.
Some might ask about the anti-Christ's rejection of Christ (The Bible says the AC will reject Christ) when Obama is supposed to be a Christian? Give me a break, are you kidding me. the guy is no more Christian then I am a Satanist. All one must do to deny Christ is to deny that Christ is the only way. His voting record denies Christ, in a way. Also, think about his backing. New age witch Opera Winfrey is among Obama's most loyal. Here's just one video of witches celebrating Obama. But it's all over the net: Pagans and Wiccans everywhere all "For Obama". Not to mention almost 100 percent of Hollywood. They ain't taking chances.
Folks will say "what about the Egypt connection?" Well, thats true. what about it? I'm not the first to say, but I feel its very possible that the biblical "Egypt" and Grandmother's "Memphis" simply represent the foundation of the "Illuminati". The Illuminati has deep roots in ancient Egypt, evidenced by the "All seeing eye" and pyramids, both chief Illuminati symbols. The Illuminati started back in Egypt, back when they were the world power as well as very practiced sorcerers with all their demon worship. take the satanist Grand Lodge of the eastern templar for a look at pure Egyptian imagery. Or...what about a good slice of Egyptian occultism right on every AMERICAN (emphasis on AMERICAN) dollar bill on the form of the eye and pyramid once again? Turn your eye's towards Memphis? Maybe soon we will see just what that really means. When the bible says the AC will rise out of Egypt, that could mean "spiritual Egypt"- the Illuminati as we know it today would be the entity that will put the AC into place. I wouldn't be too set to wait for an AC with physical blood or current political connection to Egypt.
"What about the Magog connection?" Ah. That's that the one that seems to blow all possibility out the door. BUT- as Dad, most Bible scholars, and even Countdown to Armageddon state, We don't know for sure that Magog is Russia. Here's the quote from countdown: "Most bible scholars agree it's a place somewhere above Israel, most likely Russia". But hey, not even all bible scholars think it's a land somewhere above Israel. So I wouldn't put this down Juuuust yet. even if it is Russia, there still is plenty of time for this to play out.
After all Bush has done to give the US president executive command over everything- not to mention all the "ready to go concentration camps" and total cancellation of every American's rights to pretty much do anything the GOVT doesn't like, why wouldn't the AC start there?(emphasis on START) The US is more ripe then any country in the world is for an "AC" fascist leader. Why else would bush have put so much into readying America for fascism? Maybe because it would be a perfect platform for an AC launch?
Let's wait after his first months in office. All it takes is a sudden push to secure peace for 7 years in the Mid-east after this latest insanity from Israel, which really may happen.
It seems like some others feel the same way. Although this guy for example is obviously a lot more sure about it then he should be, has some more interesting points about Obama. (and some points that...aren't)
Heres an interesting Fact: Seems like a lot of sources point to 2012 as being "the end of the world", including Nostradamus and some Mayan prophecies. This site might have some truth to it- at least he did some interesting research. If the covenant was signed half a year from now, 2012 could mean the start of the great tribulation- right with the start of a 2nd term. Whatever the case, If Obama isn't the guy, the AC needs to show his face soon in order to "be in power" somewhere when this economy really hits the bottom. It's about the right time, don't you think?
Well, That wraps it up. The more I study, and the more time passes, the more probable this actually becomes. Still, I'm totally not sure, and I am NOT saying I think theres more then say, a 30% chance he is the guy. I think I just gave a pretty good case about it being possible though. GBY!
GURU Download Link on the top left It's probably "too loud", As a good friend of mine pointed out. That's the first time I believe it to be true, because this is a good (or...bad) .5 db louder then anything else I've heard out there, and 1db above much of it. (Taking into account the bass-heavy thus limiting-unfriendly mastering of these songs) FINALLY, I have reached my life's goal, to squash something louder then everything else! That actually is...WAS, one of my...secret heartcries. I can finally do what I really love, bossa nova. But really...there's just no reason for a master to be this loud other than to prove a point, because it really does crush life out of the mix- esp the snare drum. Which is why in order to not have the mix fall apart at these levels, you need to compensate in the mix. I apologize to listeners, hopefully most of you who will stomach this music anyway, aren't the purist types. You won't be hearing anything this loud from me again...at long as the world sticks to the CD standard.